


5 Times Yuzuru Tried To Seduce Someone and 1 Time He Finally Got Laid

by 3ALover



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: 5+1 Things, Attempted Seduction, Comedy, Explicit Sexual Content, Jealousy, Locker Room, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Not Actually Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 13:00:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17488505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3ALover/pseuds/3ALover
Summary: 5 times Yuzuru is an utterly shameless flirt and a giant tease, as witnessed by Javier Fernandez, the man actually secretly in love with Yuzuru, and one time he just can't take it anymore.





	5 Times Yuzuru Tried To Seduce Someone and 1 Time He Finally Got Laid

**Author's Note:**

> I thought of this idea when I read about the time that Xinyu Liu actually helped Yuzuru take off his costume because Yuzuru claimed "he was too sweaty to get it off alone" .... as if he hasn't always sweat that much and has worn that same costume for 3 seasons.
> 
> However, AMAZINGLY, as I was planning it with random guys, I actually found out that every single one of these instances is at least slightly based in real interactions. I couldn't help but use the scenarios that I learned about, because Yuzuru is actually the worlds biggest tease and he definitely knows what' he's doing. 
> 
> I don't claim he was actually trying to seduce all these men in these situations, but he definitely knows how to use his cuteness to get what he wants.

1.

The first time Javier saw Yuzuru doing it, he didn’t know what was happening. He thought Yuzuru was just trying to be adorable. He especially thought since the target was far too old for him. However, it didn’t take long for him to realize exactly what Yuzuru was doing.

Yuzuru was trying his damn best to seduce a very male pairs skater. 

“So, it like this?” Yuzuru asked, pulling Ondrej Hotarek’s hands to his waist. “And then, then?” He twisted in a motion like he was going to do a throw jump, then leaned back against Ondrej’s chest, smiling up at him ‘innocently’… as he arched his back just right to put his ass against the front of Ondrej’s pants. 

Ondrej cleared his throat but nodded. “Yeah, and for the twist, you go like-“ He picked Yuzuru up by his waist and Yuzuru giggled, grabbing his wrists. “And throw her straight up.”

“Wow, you so strong,” Yuzuru cooed, and when Ondrej set him back down, he turned and put his hands on Ondrej’s biceps, biting his lip as he squeezed. “Such big arms. Pair skater man are all so strong. I have teeny noodle arm!” he said, making a ‘muscle’. “I only have muscle here,” he said, guiding Ondrej’s hand to his _thigh_ as he flexed his leg muscles.

“Yeah, you have some serious thigh muscles. And with that tiny waist, no wonder you fly so high.”

Brian interrupted Yuzuru’s fun, and Yuzuru pouted as he waved goodbye to Ondrej. 

On their way out of the stadium, Javier kept flexing his arms, looking at them doubtfully. “What’s up with you?” Brian asked, and Javier hummed.

“Do you think my arms are too small? Maybe I should work out more,” he said, and Brian looked at him doubtfully.

“Whatever you want,” he said flatly. 

 

2.

Javier was absolutely astounded nobody seemed to notice Yuzuru’s puppy eyes and pout as he asked Evan Bates to lift him for a photo. When he did, Yuzuru made sure to wiggle enough that Evan’s arm around his waist had to go to his ass. Javier gaped when, as they posed, Evan’s hand was visibly squeezing Yuzuru’s ass to keep him balanced on his hip. 

When he hopped down, he bit his lip and smiled at Evan through his eyelashes. “Wow, you have very strong hand,” he said, grabbing Evan’s wrist to pull his hand up, lining their fingers up. “So big! Much big hand than me.” He poked Evan’s fingertips with his and giggled. “Very strong, big fingers.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” he said, and Javier scoffed, because it was clearly not even registering to Evan what Yuzuru was up to, even though it was pretty obvious. 

“Big but gentle,” Yuzuru said, biting his lip in a way that Javier thought was _very_ obvious. “Does not hurt when you pick up. Gentle at squeeze to lift.” He tugged Evan’s hands to his waist. “See? Pick up!” he said eagerly.

Evan chuckled. “You’re adorable,” he said, then lifted Yuzuru up so his skates were off the ice. “So tiny, too. You barley weight more than Madison,” he said, spinning with Yuzuru held in front of him, setting Yuzuru to giggling in a way that Javier _knew_ was extra ‘adorable’. 

“I like strong hands,” Yuzuru declared excitedly as he was set back to his feet.

As they skated away from Javier’s hearing range, he couldn’t help looking at his own rough hands and wondering if he could do something to soften his skin without making him lose his grip when he lifted weights. He was still trying to get his arms stronger, after all.

 

3\. 

Some days, Javier was very confident about his jumps. Other days, he worried his jumps weren’t as perfect as they could be. “Hey, Yuzu.” He skated over to Yuzuru, stopping beside him. “Did you see my axel? What do you think about it?”

“Huh?” Yuzuru asked, looking at him. “Oh, sorry, Jabi. I get distract,” he said, turning back to the ice with a dreamy sigh. “You see Boyang lutz? Wow, it so big and pretty.” He propped his chin in his hands, leaning on the boards. “Look at extension on landing. And height! So big!”

Javier frowned. “Bigger than the height on my sal?”

“Way bigger,” Yuzuru said with a heavy sigh. “Such pretty. So cute.” Javier gave him a flat look but Yuzuru didn’t seem to notice.

When Boyang came off the ice, Yuzuru skipped over to him and gushed. “I _love_ your jumps!” He gave Boyang his patented ‘I’m so cute, look at my cute face’ smile. “You so good at jump. I cannot stop looking. Lutz is amazing.”

Boyang smiled. “Thanks, I like that someone like you like them.”

“Oh, I love them,” Yuzuru said, and he _put his hand on Boyang’s arm_. “How you come up with form? You look up, not down. It so interesting.” Yuzuru leaned closer. “Want come talk with me and tell me more? Maybe alone somewhere?” Javier’s jaw dropped.

“Actually, I-“

“Boyang!” Javier couldn’t follow the Chinese being spoken from a man by the curtain, but he did follow the way Yuzuru huffed and pouted when Boyang waved goodbye and left with that guy. Javier gave Yuzuru a flat look that he didn’t see since he was too busy behaving like a child who had his toy taken away.

“Kuso,” Yuzuru grumbled and Javier sure as hell knew that word. He just shook his head, amazed at how absolutely shameless Yuzuru was in his flirting.

Javier looked at Brian as he got back. “We need to work on my jumps. I don’t think I am getting enough height,” he decided, skating back out while practice was still open. He had work to do.

 

4.

If Javier thought Yuzuru was being shameless with Boyang Jin, he was _astounded_ at Yuzuru’s downright obvious flirtation with a random camera person who was there for press day at the rink. They were keeping to one end of the ice, so they didn’t take up all of the training area, but it was impossible to not get distracted a little. Brian usually kept whoever was training doing something simple while they were there. 

Because they ended early, Brian and Javier were walking along the corridor where they were waiting outside the locker room for Yuzuru when he came out. The press teams were usually all Japanese, but this season, some of them must not have been because Yuzuru was speaking English. “How is this outfit? You like?” Yuzuru asked, and then just before Brian and Javier got level with them, he _pulled his shirt up_ and batted his eyelashes at a tall camera man with a goatee. “Look at my waist! It crazy, right? It so tiny!” he said, rubbing a hand over his tight stomach. “Cute tiny waist, yes?” he asked, making his most ‘cute’ expression he could as he stepped closer to the camera man. “You have pretty hands. Want feel waist? Zero fat!”

Brian scoffed. “Yuzuru! Have some decency,” he chastised on their way past and Yuzuru just dropped his shirt and gave Brian an innocent smile.

“What?! I just show how skinny!”

“Psh, yeah right,” Brian said, and Javier just gaped at Yuzuru on their way past the crew gathered. When he looked at the camera man, he was bright red and tugging at his collar some. When he met Javier’s eyes, Javier couldn’t help but glower at the man, who instantly looked away. Javier’s eyes burned into the back of the man’s head before Brian grabbed his arm and yanked him to the side so he didn’t run into a pole in the doorway. “You, too, Javi. Stop being so jealous.”

“Psh, what?! Jealous of what?! Ha,” he grumbled, ducking his head to hide his blush when Brian snickered at him knowingly. 

 

5\. 

Javier was half sure that, if he hadn’t walked into the dressing room when he did, Yuzuru would have actually managed to seduce his target after so many failures. After the gala, Yuzuru had left for the locker room while everybody else was still milling around, so Javier went to go find him. When he got there, he heard Yuzuru talking so he didn’t call out, he just walked in. When he turned the corner, he stopped in his tracks at the sight before him. 

Yuzuru was standing with his back to Xinyu Liu, looking over his shoulder demurely. “I just cannot get. I so sweaty, it stick. You can help me?” he asked in a far too innocent tone. 

“Uh, yeah,” Xinyu said, clearing his throat as he stepped up behind Yuzuru and started tugging the zipper down. Javier’s jaw dropped as he saw Yuzuru’s elegant back slowly exposed as the suit unzipped. When the zipper stopped just above his tailbone, Xinyu slowly peeled the suit away from Yuzuru’s back and shoulders, exposing them delicate muscles of his shoulders and upper arms slowly. “Like this?”

“Yeah, just like that,” Yuzuru muttered in what was definitely not an innocent tone. “See how tight suit is? Material is thin so I worry I rip. Thank you for help,” he said, blinking up at Xinyu over his shoulder. Javier saw Xinyu’s thumbs trail down his shoulders as he gently slid the suit down off of Yuzuru’s body, and Javier narrowed his eyes, deciding that was just about enough of that. 

He kicked the door so it sounded close enough like it shut and then walked into the room. “Hey, Yuzu.” 

Almost instantly, Xinyu yanked his hands away and Yuzuru turned to look at Javier with a glare on his face. “Oh, hey Javi.” He shucked the rest of his costume by himself, clearly not having any trouble now. “What you need?”

“I just came to see if you were ready to go. Brian will be waiting for us in the lobby,” he said, walking over and putting his bag down right beside Yuzuru’s bag, and in between Yuzuru and Xinyu. He gave Xinyu a smile that he knew looked fake. “Hey, you did well today. See you later?”

Xinyu snapped his gaping jaw shut and nodded, flushing. “Yeah, I- I’ll see you guys later,” he said, grabbing his bag and all but running. Javier saw the confused look on his face and shook his head subtly. These straight guys had no idea what happened when the spell Yuzuru cast over them broke. 

 

+1.

 

As soon as the door shut behind Xinyu, Yuzuru spun around, hand on his hips and glared at Javi. “You do that on purpose!”

“What, stop you from being so dirty?” Javier asked, deciding not to pull his punches. He was getting really sick of watching the man he had been in love in secret for years now trying to seduce every guy he set his sights on. He knew it wasn’t fair, it wasn’t like he was exactly celibate just because he couldn’t have the one he truly loved, but he didn’t care about fairness, just his own heartache. “You’re so shameless!”

“So?!” Yuzuru snapped. “It not your business. You straight, you don’t know how hard it is!”

“And so are half the men you try to seduce!” Javier argued. “Also, don’t just assume you have to be straight or gay, there is other options, you know.”

Yuzuru scoffed, throwing the top of his costume into his bag before sitting to take off his skates as Javier did. “I only need turn one straight man to get sex from them, it would be easier if Brian and Mom not such cock blocks.”

Javier snorted. “How the hell do you even know that term?!” he asked, then rolled his eyes. “I don’t know why this season you’re suddenly such a tease, trying to seduce every single hot guy you find except me-“ Javier stopped short, then flushed, because it was too late, he actually said what he really wanted to without thinking about what he may have just done to his relationship with Yuzuru.

Instead of an awkward silence, however, when Javier stood up and shoved his skates into his bag, Yuzuru just did the same thing and grumbled, “I give up try to seduce you years ago, why bother now and ruin friendship?”

Javier slammed his now empty locker shut and turned around. “What the hell?! You’ve never tried to seduce me!”

Yuzuru scoffed, slamming his empty locker shut too. “Oh do not try spare feelings, you know I do. Why else I always sit in Jabi lap before and make Jabi hug me and hold hand and thing in past? I try seducing, it not work, now it almost work on others and everybody interrupt all the time!”

Javier just stared in confusion, then put his hands on his hips, frowning. “Why the fuck would you think being friendly would send the signal that you want to seduce me. If I had noticed, I would have had you in my bed in two days!”

Yuzuru dropped his clean shirt with a startled gasp and jerked his head towards Javier instantly. “Y-you _what_?!”

“I’ve only wanted to fuck you since you grew into an adult body and look like _that_!” Javier said, gesturing to the way Yuzuru was standing there in nothing but his pants and socks. “Why the hell do you think I can’t keep my hands off your waist and your thighs?!”

“Then why you never fuck me, huh?! I want you to fuck me since I am seventeen year old and walk into locker room and see _that_!” he said, gesturing to Javier’s bare torso.

They stared at each other in shock for a minute, before instantly both of them lunged for each other, stumbling over bags and skates as the grabbed each other and kissed desperately. Yuzuru moaned desperately, high and whiny, and Javier couldn’t help but grab Yuzuru’s ass and pick him up, slamming him against the lockers. Yuzuru gasped and wrapped both legs around Javier, fingers clinging to his sweaty shoulders and a handful of curls. “Javi, Javi, Javi,” he panted as Javier ground their hips together in hard, rough rolls of his hips. 

“How the fuck have you never noticed?” Javier panted against his lips, foreheads pressed together. “I’ve been in love with you for years now, Yuzuru.”

Yuzuru whimpered, nails digging into Javier’s back. “Love Jabi. Always. Long time. Love you,” he panted, gasping when Javier stuck a hand down his pants and grabbed a handful of ass. “You fuck me?” he asked, looking into Javier’s eyes. Javier felt as if he couldn’t tear his gaze away if he had to. Yuzuru’s spell was cast over him fully. “Right here. Now. You fuck me.”

“I don’t exactly carry lube around. I don’t want to hurt you,” Javier panted, and Yuzuru smirked.

“Lotion in bag. It work for alone time, it work for sex,” he said, and Javier wasn’t gonna question it as he let Yuzuru down. He grabbed his bag and dug out lotion, handed it to Javier, and then spun around and shoved his pants off, standing naked as he braced his hands on the lockers. “Do it, fuck me,” Yuzuru said, then gave him an innocent look over his shoulder that so didn’t fit the absolutely erotic sight of Yuzuru’s naked body. “Hurry, somebody may come in,” he said, and Javier wasted no time, scrambling to shove his pants down, not caring they were still wrapped around one ankle as he stepped in behind Yuzuru, grabbing his tiny waist to move him into position.

“Just a second, just a second,” Javier muttered as he put lotion on his hand and spread it over his erection. He reached down to slide a finger into Yuzuru and Yuzuru just huffed.

“I am figure skater, I will not break. Just fuck me,” he said, and Javier glared at the back of his head.

“Fine, but if I hurt you, remember you told me to,” he said, then wasted no time, lining up and pushing in. Yuzuru was _so tight_ it almost hurt, but Yuzuru just whined and shoved his ass back, refusing to let Javier go slow as he took Javier all the way in in one thrust. “Fuck!” Javier gasped.

“Ooohhh, Jabi so big,” Yuzuru moaned, and then grabbed Javier’s hands and put them on his hips. “Fuck me, do it,” he demanded, and Javier decided that was probably the best course of action since anybody could come in right now. 

Javier flattened Yuzuru against the lockers so that his chest and cheek were pressed against the cold medal, and fucked him hard and fast as he held his hips. He kissed and sucked and bit at the line of Yuzuru’s gorgeous shoulders, grunting as Yuzuru babbled and moaned and begged for more. He found a spot on the back of Yuzuru’s neck that made him thrash when he sucked and kissed it while he pounded his ass hard and didn’t let up. They had to come soon, because they had been alone in there way too long to not have somebody else coming to change soon. “Get yourself off,” he groaned, and Yuzuru instantly started jerking off, cursing as Javier fucked him harder and faster so that Yuzuru’s elbow he braced himself with was banging against the cold medal of the locker.

When Yuzuru came with a shout, Javier fucked him a few more hard, rough thrusts before he stilled and came, groaning into the heat of Yuzuru’s neck. When he pulled out, he grimaced. “Fuck, we didn’t use a condom.”

“Mmmm, don’t care,” Yuzuru said, leaning back against Javier’s chest weakly, and Javier had ot hold him up so his knees didn’t give out on him. “I never have sex before and Javi do not date in long time, so he do not have anything.”

Javier rubbed Yuzuru’s stomach soothingly as he nuzzled his throat affectionately, only to still suddenly, eyes flying open. “What do you mean you never had sex before?!”

Yuzuru giggled. “This first time,” he said, and Javier pulled away from him, glaring.

“Yuzuru! That must have hurt like hell if it was the first time! What they fuck?!”

Yuzuru turned around and winked. “High pain tolerance. It okay. Beside, not first time I have something in ass. I do not get this old without sex without sex toy, duh.” He quickly cleaned himself off with a pair of boxers and then shoved them into his bag deep in the bottom and pulled on his track pants without underwear. “Hurry, Jabi. We will be catch!”

Javier glared at Yuzuru as he quickly dressed. “I can’t believe you. You let me fuck you in a locker room with no preparation, no romance, no _warning_ and it was your first time. You’re such a-“

“Beautiful Yuzu that Jabi loves?” Yuzuru interrupted and Javier grumbled under his breath as he tugged his shirt on.

“Yeah, yeah.” Javier slipped into his sneakers and then picked up his bag. “When we get back to Canada, I’m doing rose petals and candles and all the romance a first time deserves, you dirty, horny man.”

Yuzuru just picked up his bag and winked. “I like this first time, though. I try so hard to do ‘seducing’ and finally it work on one man I think I never get! Also, I just win gold medal, best night ever!”

Javier snorted and rolled his eyes as he shuffled towards the door. “And this is who I fell in love with. Great.”

“Be sweet to your boyfriend,” Yuzuru teased, pouting at him. 

“Boyfriend, huh?”

“Oh yeah, you do not get to say ‘I love you, Yuzu’ and then fuck me and not be boyfriend now!” he said, linking their elbows together as they approached the door. 

When they opened the door, Javier’s face flushed bright red at the sight of a very unhappy Brian standing in front of the door with his arms crossed. “Uh, Brian, hey-“

“Do you have any idea how hard it is to stop people from going into a locker room because my skaters are doing things they really, really shouldn’t do in there?” Brian said in a coldly furious tone. “I swear to God, it’s only not wanting to get you both banned that made me stand here and listen to _that_. You both owe me like five cases of beer and ten hours at the gym each.”

Javier was mortified, but Yuzuru just smirked. “Ah, finally Brian stop being cock block,” he said, and Javier saw Yuzuru’s life flash before his eyes as he patted Brian on the shoulder and then just walked past him as if he hadn’t just come within an inch of losing his life.

Javier just laughed an awkward, dying goat laugh, and ran as fast as he could in the other direction, not caring if he had to take the long way around or not.

**Author's Note:**

> References, just because I think it's so funny!
> 
> [Ondrej Hotarek](https://www.instagram.com/sweetyuzuruhanyu/p/Baj_1XNFu5x/)   
>  [Evan Bates](https://up.gc-img.net/post_img/2018/02/UQHJeDeeRguRTPA_TTTWq_156.jpeg)   
>  [Boyang Jin](https://i2.wp.com/49.media.tumblr.com/2e2c9ea9f213a42a660b275b37d71d17/tumblr_nyjqoawoVS1tv8i85o1_400.gif?w=940&ssl=1)   
>  [Camera Man](https://tadakixd.tumblr.com/post/170868143805/kateigaho-snippets-the-natural-side-of-yuzuru)   
>  [Xinyu Liu](https://tadakixd.tumblr.com/post/157970875125/for-fun-liu-xinyu-team-china-ice-dance-pair-with)


End file.
